Make This Quick

I will make this quick.

I had planned to post during the holidays, but then the holidays were gone and both of my schools started again.

At one school, I work as a teacher assistant. In the afternoon, I work as a graduate assistant and then go to classes Monday, Wednesday and Thursday night.

Every day it seems like more.

Some days I wonder if I can manage it again. It is not the work load. Okay, I’m lying. The work load does get to me, but there is more guilt and a sense of abandonment I feel in leaving my son and a new laptop void of new writing.

But I know my mental health requires the words. I know my mind and heart ache when I don’t type new words or recraft old sentences.

They are like old friends, you see. Those old sentences do not bother me. They didn’t work the first time, but they can be made into something better. Some people are nervous about editing. That comes from outside pressure, but if we strip away the yapping online and around us, there is just us and a screen or a piece of paper.

I hear the words when I walk by rivers or when undergraduate girls talk about a loner on Facebook who only posts pictures with his family. Yes, I am one of those people—one of those odd ball people who keeps the words on the screen until it’s time for them to become something more.

A lot of times I don’t want certain pieces to be anything more than a place on which I write for my peace of mind.

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2 thoughts on “Make This Quick

  1. lensandpensbysally January 16, 2014 at 8:45 AM Reply

    You’re on a path that will take you where you need to go. The emotion of your post tells me that you must find those small pockets to fulfill your passion. Hope that you can for your own sake. Happy, happy New Year and joy and peace ahead for you.

    • Rebecca T. Dickinson January 16, 2014 at 1:19 PM Reply

      Thank you Sally for your supportive words! I’m a pretty strong person, and I did it all last semester. I’m confident I can do it again, but I am trying to find those few minutes during which I can write or edit creatively. This post was a part of what I did last night before reading literary criticism. It does help. Happy New Year to you Sally! :)

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