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What Matters Most: 3 Reasons the Season of Thanks Continues

An autumn sky.


I am late for an important date:

A date with gratitude and a date to blog.

Thanksgiving break carried my family and me on a train ride of illness, dealing with death, baking challenges and realizing what matters most.

The Christmas shopping season catches our attention with ringing Hersey kisses commercials and bright red and green colors. It is easy to forget the meaning of Thanksgiving. It is easier to see knock down prices on Black Friday weekend.

Remember, remember the season of thanks in November.

Charles Dickens wrote we should keep it in our hearts all year long. I believe the same theory goes for being thankful.

Three lessons reminded me why I am thankful.

Lesson 1: Health

My grandmother said, “Always be thankful for your health.” I heard a lecture voice at the age of sixteen. Turns out she was right.

Last Sunday, my family kicked off Thanksgiving by meeting my husband’s father and sister at a restaurant. My son—who suffered from a cold—dealt with a misunderstanding from the milk. He was not eating after he drank. Not long after, everything came up.

I cleaned him and let him play with a car. He sat next to me at the table. He tugged my shirt and whimpered. Charles—a very independent 2-year-old—rarely clings to me. Before I could figure out what was wrong, everything came up again.

Vomit covered our shirts and pants as we went to the bathroom. It was the one occasion for which I’d forgotten to pack extra clothes. I felt like a horrible mother, but I cleaned him up again.

As I came out of the bathroom, two teen girls stared at me. Years ago, I would’ve thought How did that woman let herself out of the house like that, or when I become a mother I will still care about my appearance.

The foul milk-smelling stains on my clothes transformed into something else. They were mommy battle scars. They were a reminder: Hey, Rebecca, you’re not all that. Any moment, something could change.

On the ride home, my husband and I dealt with Charles’ health. The next day we learned he had an ear infection, from which he is still recovering, and I became sick, too.

Good health should never be devalued.


Not all food or autumn decorations are beautiful.

Lesson 2: Baking does not Always go the Baker’s Way

No secret. I make cheesecakes. Since I made my first one, I’ve perfected the method as I have learned the steps and requirements of a good cake maker. Making cheesecake is different from other cakes. For one, you use a different pan.

You don’t want your cake to sink.

You want your cake to be moist, but not so moist if falls apart.

You don’t want cracks on the top.

An engineer tries to solve a car’s problems. I attempt to perfect my cheesecake methods.

One week ago, I made two cherry cheesecakes. One was a belated Veteran’s Day present for my father, and the other was my brother’s birthday present.

My father’s cake went untouched as every member of my family ate Thomas’ cake.

I did everything I did before to make my Thanksgiving strawberry cheesecake except I forgot the bit of flour. The next morning my cake began falling apart. It looked like earthquake cracks separating earth as I unhinged the ring in which the cake sat.

While my family watched the Macy’s Day Parade, the OCD and perfectionist personality came out. What do I do? I can’t take this.

Luckily, we had a back up. Dad’s cake was still fresh and untouched. We took it, and everything worked out.

Lesson 3: Inspiration for a Lifetime

Dad called early last week. An emotional man, he sobbed and left a message that his first cousin had died.

This particular cousin was not a far-off relative who we sent Christmas cards to every year. She was a sister to Dad. She was a connection to the town in which my book, Sons of the Edisto, takes place. She provided historical accounts. Dad’s cousin enlightened me about members of my family who have now passed.

When I talked to her during my research in Bamberg, SC; the cousin talked to me openly. She knew of my project. She was not afraid to tell me the Ku Klux Klan still paraded through the streets of Bamberg in 1948 after a World War in which 6 million Jews were killed by Nazi Germany.

The cousin understood my grandfather—her uncle—was a hero who did not have to state his opinion, but stood up to injustice through simple actions. Her memory is attached to his, and I am thankful for everything she did for my father. I am thankful for the information she provided.

Words and Photos By Rebecca T. Dickinson

In Memory of Becky.

Your New Relationship

By Rebecca T. Dickinson

A new relationship takes off. Even if you’re in a relationship or marriage there is a boyfriend or girlfriend who takes you for the ride on a motorcycle. Your emotions about him or her wander through a jungle of the unknown. Then you make up with a hot session in which you cannot leave each other.

Type the first word. Your new relationship begins. The nice thing about this relationship is no one is there to argue with you, although you might sometimes feel stuck on a scene or character.

Dare I suggest your book, story or poem is a boyfriend or girlfriend when it is something more sacred to you?

Not so much me as author, Joshilyn Jackson; author of gods in Alabama, Backseat Saints, and most recently, A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty.


I met Joshilyn Jackson for the second time in my young career as a writer. I adore her work for the fact the writing is excellent, she makes me laugh after a dark scene, her descriptions are amazing, and the list continues into eternity. I’ve never liked to use the term favorite author because there are so many writers I love and from whom I learn.

Jackson took a writer’s cliché of your book is your baby, and shot it in the foot. It is not without good reason.

When I first heard her speak at a writer’s conference in October 2010 and again last Tuesday, she talked about the way in which she thought of her books. The reason is important because it helped to separate the writer’s thoughts of publishing and writing. If the two worlds collide in a writer’s mind while he or she writes, it becomes a slick, messy landslide.

Think of your individual works as a boyfriend or girlfriend. While you are writing the poem, story or novel, it is hot and heavy. You end up in arguments when you do not agree with something in the plot or how a character evolves. Words, like clothes, end up on the floor. The best ones end up on the page. When the book is published, the relationship is over. Simple: done and over.

Jackson does not open her older books because she said she would see a flaw or think about something she would change. The book is already published. She has to focus on the manuscript at hand instead of what she has already released to the world. It is similar to your being in love with your significant other while thinking about someone else.

I’ve said those words: My book is my baby. When I started my research for Sons of the Edisto at the South Caroliniana Library and trips to Bamberg, SC; my manuscript was my baby. I loved it. I tried to nurture it by learning from the beginning the best way to tell the story and how I could show the 1920′s in an accurate, but a storytelling manner.

At the end of 2009, I did not touch my book for four months. I worked as a full-time reporter, and I learned I was pregnant. The moment I became a real mother, my life changed (cliché) forever. As a mother, I believed I turned into a better writer. It was in the first year of my son’s life when pieces of my work were published.

My short nonfiction story, Grass from the Grave, no longer belongs to me. It is set to be published for a second time in the spring. It is one of the only times I sat down at a keyboard, wrote something in ten minutes, and it stayed in most of its original form. It deals with circumstances surrounding my son’s birth. I never thought it would be something of interest. The fact is the story no longer belongs to me.

The relationship starts. Then it must end. No hard feelings. No broken hearts. Just “I wish you the best, and I know you’ll go far.”

chester maynes

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